Lecturer: Master Zheng-Yan
Subject: Courteous and Kind Words Beget Good Affinities (柔言雅語結好緣)
The Sutras often mention, “Karma of speech can cause sentient beings to suffer in Hell or the Hungry Ghost Realm.” This passage often appears in Sutras.
Of the Ten Evils, four are of speech. If we are not cautious, we create these four types of negative karma.
The four karma of speech: harsh words, lying, flattery, gossip.
Some are born with karmic retributions from speech. For example, there are those with poor oral hygiene and bad breath. This is an oral illness.
Some people’s voices are unbearable to hear or their words are not credible. Other people simply do not believe them. “Whatever that person says is not important. Don’t trust him.” So, others will not take him seriously.
These are all karmic effects of negative speech. Harsh words cause conflicts that damage relationships. Harsh speech can create chaos within a family, such as problems with in-laws. Moreover, spoken communication can create discord in society and between countries. Verbal conflicts and bad intentions can cause tension between two nations. A slight carelessness with words can create negative karma.
So the Sutras talk about the four evils of speech among the Ten Evils. You should be familiar with the Ten Evils, three of body, four of speech and three of mind. So, when it comes to creating karma, we basically understand the different kinds. Many disasters originate with the mouth. Illnesses also enter through the mouth.
Many years ago there was a special case. There was a family with young children. They had three or four kids in elementary school. One was in fifth grade, one in fourth, and one in second. These children gave their teachers a lot of headaches because they refused to recite out loud with the class. The teachers wished to teach them proper pronunciation, but they refused to utter a sound.
All three children in different classes refused to recite lessons.
When the teachers visited their parents, the mother refused to speak. Their grandparents said, “my grandchildren can speak. But they don’t like to talk, and we don’t know why. If you ask them, the most frequent words they say are ‘I know’ and ‘no’. They can speak but they just don’t want to.”
The teachers began to seek the real cause of the children’s speech problem. They asked about the mother, and the grandmother said, “My daughter-in–law never even spoke to us after she married.” “Could she be mute?”
“She is not mute, because she speaks in her home. But for some reason, she doesn’t speak in our house.”
The teachers thought of ways to befriend the mother and understand why she did not speak. Because she did not talk, the kids were affected. So, perhaps the mother was the problem.
They reported this case to Tzu Chi volunteers, who started to visit this household and tried to get to know the mother. When she saw the volunteers, she would smile and go inside. The grandmother understood that the volunteers were there to help her daughter-in-law. So she became a member. The commissioners shared many stories of other families. They spoke of many cases of other families, involving in-laws and children.
As they told stories of other care recipients, some of whom had problems with their in-laws or with their parents or children, the daughter-in-law would approach to listen. She would smile when they said something humorous.
Our commissioners gestured for her to join the conversation. Seeing her smile, they knew that she had been listening to what they were saying. So, one commissioner approached her, took her hand and gently asked, “Your mother-in-law tells me that you cook well. How do you cook? Do you buy the vegetables yourself? Do you pick them out at the market? What do you buy and what do you cook?”
She said, “Yes, sometimes I buy them.”
“I hear that vegetables are expensive now.”
In this way she started to chat with them. Then they asked, “You can speak, so why are you always so quiet? Do you know about y our children’s behavior?”
They recounted the teacher’s worries over her children’s grades, and how the teachers could not teach them proper Mandarin, which could greatly influence their education.
Then one day she told the commissioners why she did not like to talk. She said that on her wedding day her husband told her that her voice was hard to bear. So he suggested that she kept silent. Hearing this on her first day of marriage, she took it to heart and since then she did not address her in-laws or speak with her children after they were born. Children usually learn to speak from their mothers, who would encourage them to talk.
The mother teaches them to say “papa”, “mama”, “grandma” and “grandpa.” This is all encouraged by the mother. This way the children slowly start to speak, asking, “What is this called?” “What is that called?” If children grow up with a quiet mother, they may not be willing to speak.
After understanding the reason, the commissioners began to counsel her. The said, “Initially you didn’t speak to us. So, we were afraid to visit your family. But now that you talk to us, we feel welcomed and like coming here. Do you welcome us?”
She answered, “I like listening to your talk. I take in all your words.” “So, why don’t we be friends?”
“Yes”
So, they invited her to join Tzu Chi. Now she is also one of our volunteers, and her children’s grades have improved. This happened years ago. I am not sure if she also became a commissioner. This occurred many years ago. We can learn from this true story. With karma of speech, perhaps she said something unpleasant in her past life that caused others to be annoyed. Or perhaps her husband was careless or drunk when he said that to her on their wedding day. These careless words caused the family and children to be affected. So, we should be truly careful with speech.
The Sutra verses indicate, “If born as an animal, one will be born as an owl, starling, or as other birds with despicable sounds.”
Owls cannot see well in the day. Even if it is something big as a mountain, they cannot see it clearly. However, at night, their vision is very sharp. Even the smallest things do not escape their detection. The can see even tiny insects, so they feed after nightfall. As for starlings, it is said that if their tongues are clipped or shaped when they’re young, they can be taught to speak. However, their voices sound terrible. [In Taiwan] these birds are called “strange birds.” I have not seen one yet. In summary, there are many beings in the Animal Realm that fly, walk or swim. There are various species and forms of animal life. These beings created different karma while they were humans.
Of the Ten Evils, four pertain to speech. Those in the Three Evil Destinies must have crated this karma. Some say they cannot see the Hell or Hungry Ghost Realms. But we can see Hell in our world. We can also see Hungry Ghosts in our world. I often make these analogies.
Can we see the Animal Realm? Of course we can, we see animals everywhere. So we understand the unspeakable suffering of the karma of Ten Evils.
If one is born as a human, “one has bad breath, a lack of credibility, or an inharmonious and belligerent family.”
If one is born as a human, does that mean one’s retributions are over? If one’s evil karma has not been exhausted, he will still suffer retributions as a human.
Some have bad breath and when they speak, they always give off a foul odor. This may be an oral disease that can be cured with dental treatment. However, in the past, there was no dental hygiene. Perhaps that was due to karmic retribution. So lmperial Preceptor Wu-Da wrote that when born human, some still have bad breath. Others do not like to listen to them. As soon as they opened their mouth to speak, other people smell their breath. So, “one has bad breath.”
Then there are those whose words are not credible.
Especially in a family that is used to fighting, everyone has negative speech habits. If you tell them, “You shouldn’t say such things. The same thing can be said nicely, so why do you make it sound so negative?”
They answer, “Whatever, that is just my habit.”
Indeed, our habits are constantly being developed. We should speak gracefully.
I often tell Tzu Chi volunteers to speak carefully and mindfully. There are certain words we have to be careful of. In Taiwanese, the word “cannot” can be said in a vulgar way. If we say it in that way, the listeners will notice. But people still have slips of the tongue if they do not pay attention. Although we continue to practice being vigilant and speaking eloquently, habitual tendencies are hard to change. So we should comprehend that practice is adjusting our habitual tendencies.
Instead of saying something casually, if we speak gracefully and tactfully, we will not have conflicts in our households. Many commissioners were like that before. In a family, if everyone claims to be right, there will certainly be disputes. But if people take personal responsibility for the problems that arise, there is no opportunity for discord.
In short, if we often admit our mistakes, we will speak more gently. If we never admit our faults, we believe that we are right and others are wrong. So, we speak inappropriately. A family’s atmosphere is created with dialogue. Therefore, “since karma of speech creates negative effects, today I sincerely take refuge with the Three Treasures and repent all wrongs.”
As Buddhists, we should constantly repent. If others criticize or reprimand us, we should Say, “I’m grateful for your reminder. I was wrong, thank you.”
This is a form of repentance. So we should be vigilant in everything we do. We are the Buddha’s disciples, and we often listen to teachings. The Sutras repeatedly remind us of the severity of speech karma. As disciples of the Buddha, why aren’t we vigilant and sincere? After hearing Dharma, why don’t we receive it? If we take Dharma into our hearts, we will not repeatedly commit wrongdoings. So, we should always be vigilant and repentant. This is mindful spiritual practice. So, in practice, we should always be mindful.
(Source: Da Ai TV 靜思晨語 法譬如水)
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