Lecturer: Master Zheng-Yan
Subject: Being Egotistic and Conceited is Self-Defeating貢高憍倨必自敗
Mind alone creates everything. If we do not carefully talk care of the mind, if we let it loose, reining it in again will not be easy.
To be born human and to encounter Buddha-dharma is truly a rare opportunity. After encountering Dharma, are we able to abide by the precepts and I’ve according to the Buddha’s teachings by taking each step in accordance with the methods Ha taught?
As I have been saying the past few days, Dharma is like water. Do we often use this water to wash away the impurity and ignorance in our minds? In our daily lives, we cannot do without water. We need it to survive.
But we often do not realize that water is also essential to our Wisdom-life. Our Wisdom-life also needs to be kept clean. To do that, we need Dharma. The Buddha-dharma enables us to maintain our pure, intrinsic nature. Should there be any impunity, we must quickly remove it.
In our daily lives, we cannot do without water. The same applies to our Wisdom-life. We need to constantly use Dharma-Water to eliminate ignorance and defilements in our minds, and maintain the purity of our intrinsic nature.
As we have discussed before, if we want to preserve our intrinsic nature, filial piety is the foundation of all goodness. “Filial piety is foremost among all good deeds.” As I said last time, parents have no expectations of their children. Everything they do is for the sake of their children & grandchildren. Yet when parents grow old, the young people are off pursuing their careers, and leave them to live alone.
When parents fall sick, if you ask, “Have you told your children about this? Do they know you are ill?” they reply, “No, don’t tell them I don’t want to worry them. They have their own families and careers. They are very busy.” Everyone, don’t we often hear these sentiments that demonstrate how thoughtful parents are toward their children?
When we volunteer at the hospital, we hear these sentiments most frequently. They cannot bear for their children to worry and are mindful that their children have other responsibilities. How considerate and selfless parents are!
Parents are like living Buddhas. As Buddhists, we must respect all Buddhas and at home, we must respect our parents. For our parents to be happy, we must do more than give them food. We should offer them compliance. If we want to be filial, we need to be compliant and stay by their side to look after them.
In our hospital, we opened an adult day-care center. People often ask me, “Master, why not build retirement homes?” Every time I visit a retirement home, I am filled with many emotions. They elderly are surrounded by other elders. Even if the retirement home has luxurious facilities and offers good care, even if the children are willing to pay a lot for them to live such a nice place, the sight is still unbearable. Every day, the only people they encounter are other old people so they get very bored. Seeing them play chess or sit around with nothing to do, I feel greatly for them.
That is why, in our hospital, we opened an adult day-care center. Some of them we pick up before their children go to work. Others are driven here by their children. The adult day-care center in our hospital is a very comfortable place. Nurses and volunteers keep them company and provide physiotherapy to those who cannot move around easily. They also help clean those who cannot manage their own bodies.
They stay until late afternoon, when their children get off work. Some of them we drive home, others are driven around by their children. So during the day, people care for them, and provide them with physiotherapy and company. We also help to stimulate the minds of those who are growing senile. Then when they return home, they can still enjoy the joys of family life. This feels much better to me.
These old folks have lived a lifetime, endured decades of hardship, and contributed a great deal to their families and to society. Now that they are old, they deserve to have someone care for and look after them. They deserve such qualify of life.
As I said last time, many people nowadays are “not filial to their parents and elders”. We know that being unfilial to our parents means we cause them to worry. That is truly unfilial.
Not talking good care of our health is another way to be unfilial because that worries our parents gray-haired parents who worry about and take care of their sick children in the hospital. This is also very common. So to be filial, we really need to take good care ourselves. That is the best way to show our gratitude.
In our prime we are unrestrained and conceited. We crave all forms of and treasures, entertainment, and lustful acts. When greed & infatuation arise in our minds, afflictions arise in our thoughts.
So do not be “unrestrained and conceited in your prime”. Do not depend on youth or lack of restraint in your prime to think that, “I have plenty of time left to be filial, plenty of time left for spiritual cultivation. Now is the time to be happy, entertained, and to play and sightsee. Why don’t we enjoy ourselves while we are young?” if this is our attitude we will become unrestrained and conceited.
It is said “Conceit brings about failure. Victors fall into a pit of conceit, losers fall into a hell of depression.” Conceit and arrogance feel like fiery pits. We know conceit will bring faiture just like falling into a deep abyss.
Conceit brings about arrogance and pride. If we are proud and arrogant, we will truly cause our own downfall. That is like entering hell on earth. We will be very unhappy and tired. We must not be conceited. Conceit leads to lack of restraint. Arrogance leads to pride. Conceit and egotism are truly detrimental to our lives.
As I often tell you, the more we have achieved, the more self-aware and humble we must be. How can we forever remain in others’ minds eyes? We need to be “small enough” to enter into their pupils and the depths of their minds. To gain a place in other people’s minds, we must be approachable there is nothing to be egotistic about. There is nothing to be conceited about.
Egotism and conceit will lead to self-defeat. So always be self-aware and shrink the ego to enter through others’ pupils.
Greed and infatuation arise in our minds toward all forms of wealth and treasures, entertainment, and lustful acts. Those who indulge in travel and play while they are still young and strong are truly pitiable.
They do not understand Truth. They do not realize that life is fragile and impermanent. Their lack of awareness id called ignorance. Ignorant people crave wealth, entertainment and lustful acts. They do as they please and crave pleasure. These people are wretched, they indulge in entertainment and drinking every day. Such people cause social unrest, misfortune for their families, and even harm to themselves. They are the foolish and deluded people.
Moreover, enjoyment of pleasures is often followed by great suffering. Take dancing for example, are people at the dance clubs really happy? Not really. In those places there are many conflicts and pitfalls. Dangerous things happen there. Don’t we often hear about how these places of entertainment attract fights, beatings, and murders? They are truly very dangerous traps. But people are ignorant so they go there in search of happiness. It is just like kids playing with fire and getting burned.
Ignorant people crave entertainment, wealth, treasure, and lustful acts. By doing as they please and craving all pleasures, they attract even more suffering and misfortune.
Lust is particularly dangerous. Some say, “Lust id foremost among all evils”. Many evil deeds and disasters originate with lust. So it is said, “Craving lustful acts is like being mesmerized by a Raksha”. Since ancient times, many emperors gave up their empires for beautiful women. For the sake of a woman, they abandoned their morals and they gave up their empire.
In Chinese history, there was a very aggressive warlord who lost his senses over a woman. The opera based on this is called “Farewell My Concubine”. There was also an emperor named Zhou. What caused his downfall? Also a woman Da-Ji brought the downfall of Emperor Zhou, and Diao-chan manipulated Dong-Zhuo. There are many such examples in history.
Things are still the same today. Nowadays there are many successful businessmen who have high social status and great wealth. But they are surrounded by scandals. All in all, we should understand that lust can cause us to lose our senses, ruin our good names and end our lives.
In this world, people should be monogamous. A wife should be the most beautiful woman to her husband. But some men do not appreciate their wives, instead they have a roving eye. This is also the misery and confusion of life and is a way to create karma. If someone is lustful and attached to an improper love affair, for the sake of a woman, a person may even ruin a career or family life.
Lust will often cause men to ruin their reputation. Everyone, as we learn Buddhism, we must work hard to condition our minds. We must observe and uphold the laws governing human conduct. In the sphere of family life, being filial to our parents as well as supporting and talking care of the family are our responsibilities.
Therefore, if we can take good care of our family and fulfill all our responsibilities towards. Our parents, family, society, and all our relatives, if we can abide by ethics and morals, then we are not far from Buddha-dharma. Therefore, lay practitioners must uphold family ethics and morals. If we uphold “filial piety, foremost among all good deeds” we will not commit “lustful acts, foremost of all evils” and will not create this bad karma. Filial piety is foremost among all good deeds, a fundamental principle of life. For those of us who have renounced the secular life, we must take good care of our minds at all times.
For us, the world is our family. We have entered the Tathagata-family, His family is pure so our minds cannot contain any defilements. Every day, we are in the midst of Dharma, bathing in the Buddha’s teachings. Buddha-dharma or Dharma-water, is constantly cleansing our minds. Our mind should never be defiled, even a little. Buddha. Everyone, please always be mindful.
(Source: Da Ai TV 靜思晨語 法譬如水)
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