Lecturer: Master Zheng-Yan
Subject: Create Good Affinities, and Bad Conditions Vanish (善緣一轉惡緣消)
As we have often said, good and evil are intermixed our minds. We have done both good and evil in our past lives. For an unknown number of lifetimes good and evil causes & conditions have been replicating and influencing us.
So we come to this life and, of course, have both good and evil [seeds]. When negative seeds manifest, the conditions we face will be unfavorable. Even if we live in a favorable environment, we will not meet good people. Even if we do meet good people we will not be happy with them. This is due to evil causes & conditions from past lives.
In this life, we are truly fortunate to encounter Buddha-dharma. Furthermore, happily, we are among a group of Bodhisattvas. We can heighten our awareness of our accumulated habitual tendencies. So when we see someone we dislike, we realize that he may not be a bad person. Perhaps he gets along well with everyone else and we are the only one who dislike him.
Others listen to him and find his words very useful. They feel that every word he says is good, is Dharma. Why is it that when we hear his words we cannot be pleased? Why can’t we accept him? If we are in this situation we must be alert, for we may have planted a bad seed in our past lives that resulted in this bad affinity. Thus, we have a bad relationship in this life.
Now with the help of this group of Bodhisattvas, we must be self-vigilant so we can strengthen good affinities and improve our bad affinities.
Karma brings us to this world. Though we cannot change our past karma, we can create new conditions. If we can be self-vigilant and create more good conditions, perhaps we can reshape the manifestation of karma.
There is the story of an elderly man who visited his wife in Dalin Tzu Chi Hospital. He really cared about her, but he refused to enter her hospital room. He paced back and forth outside. It seemed rather contradictory.
So, one of our Commissioners asked him, “Grandpa, who is in the hospital? You seem to have a lot on your mind. Would you like to talk about it? Tell me what’s on your mind.”
The elderly man replied, “Why can’t I be happy when I look at my wife? I do care about her and am worried that she’s ill. But when I wish to speak to her, I just can’t say anything. I just can’t be happy.
The Commissioner asked him, “Grandpa, how long have you been married?”
He answered, “About 40 to 50 years.”
“How was your life together for those years?”
He said, “I’m a farmer. When there’s no work to be done in the fields, I am usually under the tree in the courtyard in front of my house. My friends and I drink, smoke, chew betel nuts, and chat. Sometimes, my wife would be very mean. She would scold me when I drunk or smoked. She has been scolding me my whole life. But now that she is ill, I am a bit worried.”
The commissioner then said, “Grandpa, we do not want to have regrets. You are very worried when you see her bed-redden. I believe you have things you want to say to her.”
He said, “I don’t know why? When I’m next to her I want to ask if she is hungry or thirsty, but even those words won’t come out.”
As he thought about it, he looked at the Commissioner and said, “I think you are a very nice person. If my son had you for a wife, maybe our family would be more harmonious.”
The commissioner said, “Grandpa, I am nice now, but do you know how mean I was before I joined Tzu Chi? When I saw men, I saw them as ants that I wanted to squash.”
He said, “You were that mean?”
Our commissioner replied, “Grandpa, Master Cheng-Yen taught us not to compete or compare. The grass is always greener on the other side. It’s best not to take issue with anything. Actually, what we already have is the best. Do not take issue with other people. Grandpa, don’t live with regrets. I think Grandma probably feels the same way, and has a lot she wants to say to you. Hurry up and talk to her. It has been so many years and you are both quite old. If you don’t say something now, you will truly regret it. Our master says, Regret is the greatest torture. If we lose the chance to say what we wish to say that is something we will deeply regret. It will be late. That is the worst punishment.”
The grandpa said, “Yes, I have thought about this. Last time, another volunteer told me to not have any regrets. I am truly regretful, but I do not know to get rid of this regret”
The commissioner said, “Grandpa, let’s go. When you think of it, just do it. I will accompany you. But when you are standing before Grandma, you need to speak out bravely.”
He asked, “What should I say?”
“You first words should convey that you care about her. Show your love for her. I think you probably have never told Grandma, that you love her in all the decades you’ve been married.”
He said, “That is embarrassing. Do married couples say this?”
She replied, “Yes, now is the time to say it. You will be happy once you do. After you say what is in your heart, she will be very happy because she will finally have what she’s always wanted.”
He said, “Is it really that effective?”
“Yes, it really is. Now let’s go, Grandpa.”
She accompanied him to Grandma’s bedside and talked to her first, “Grandma, are you feeling well today?”
She answered, “I’m worried to death, how can I feel well?”
Our volunteer said, “Grandma, you will be very happy today. Grandpa has something to tell you. Maybe what he is about to say is exactly what you need. You won’t be worried anymore.”
“What does he have to say? Nothing.”
Our volunteer then said, “Grandpa, come closer. Tell Grandma what you just told me. Tell her what you think about her, what you really to say to her.”
He gathered up his courage and barked out, “Wife, I love you.” It was as if he has held it in for so long and it suddenly burst out. He said it very gruffly.
So our volunteer told him, “Grandpa that was too gruffly. Say it again so she can understand you, you said it too quickly. Please say it more gently, more slowly, so grandma can understand you.”
So he said, “Wife, I really love you I’m sorry and I thank you for talking care me all these years.”
The Grandma’s eyes grew wide and she asked, “What you just said, did you think of it yourself?”
“Yes, I wanted to say that. I have just been too embarrassed. The grandma smiled.
Couples from older generations are devoted but very reserved. Though they are married, the wife disapproved of all of her husband’s activities and expressed this bluntly. In their married life, this was pretty much all they talked about. Of course they had come good affinities otherwise they would not have married. They must have shared affinities. They sowed the seeds in the past and then conditions in this life brought them together. They should cherish each other.
Look at this old couple. Had they not encountered Tzu Chi and in particular, this volunteer who patiently encouraged them, there would still be a gulf between them. The grandpa’s few words wiped away decades of resentment. He suppressed the seed of love for decades. It did not sprout until this organization provided the right conditions.
So married couples should not think highly of other people’s spouses and poorly of their own. Your own wife is actually pretty good. Do not think other people’s husbands are so considerate and wonder why your husband is not. Your husband is pretty good too. It is all in your state of mind.
Everyone, observe your past karmic causes and present conditions. If the right elements come together to create good conditions, bad conditions will vanish. Let us always be grateful that within this organization, we can often hear people share their experiences. They teach by example and their every word is wondrous Dharma.
Let us face external conditions with gratitude. If we can do this, it is the working of the Advantageous Superior Mind.
When we create good affinities, bad conditions disappear. Once we encounter Dharma, if we learn to cherish it and be grateful for it, this is the Advantageous Superior Mind.
We should feel very fortunate to live in advantageous conditions every day. Everyone around us inspires us to be good. Let us nurture a wondrous and wholesome mind in this environment. As I said earlier, when the grandma heard her husband’s kind words, her heart opened and her resentments dissolved. As for the grandpa, he listened to other people’s advice. He knew that his old attitude was wrong and wanted to change. To reform is to repent and to repent is to cleanse. If we can do this, we can eliminate the Three Obstructions.
The Three Obstructions are affliction, karma and retribution. They obstruct our pure and clear wisdom. Only by openly repenting can we wash away our accumulated defilements. What mindset must we use if we wish to eliminate the Three Obstructions?
The Three Obstructions start with affliction, or delusion. Delusion is also known as ignorance, and ignorance is synonymous with affliction. How can we eliminate delusion, karma and retribution, the Three Obstructions?
As the Buddha said, “All Buddhas & Bodhisattvas teach skillful means.” A few day ago we said that all Buddhas & Bodhisattvas come to the world and teach us various skillful means that are appropriate our aptitudes. When we are receptive Dharma, we can learn it. The Buddha introduced 84,000 Dharma methods because we have 84,000 types of affliction. Therefore, we also have 84,000 different levels of aptitude.
Therefore, the Buddha is Great Healer King. Based on the mental illness of sentient beings. He prescribed specific Dharma to treat those conditions and eliminate their afflictions. So Buddhas and Bodhisattvas came into this world to teach us skillful means. With these methods, we can keep our minds from creating karma and break though our delusions & afflictions. Delusion is another word for ignorance. How can we break though this haze of ignorance? We need to use Dharma.
Everyone, everything in our daily living is absolutely related to Dharma. Do not learn each lesson lightly, but forever etch it in your minds. So, what mindset so we need to eliminate these obstructions? As I just said, do not think that I am just telling stories which are unrelated to Buddhism? Actually, they are closely related. Without affinities, we would not be together. Affinities enable us to meet. Let us learn to sow the seeds for the future.
Causes, conditions, effects, and retributions are all interlinked in a cycle. Once we have causes and conditions, there will be fruitions. That old couple sowed seeds for their marriage in the past and this life provided the conditions for them to become husband and wife. But they each felt that their spouse was not as good as someone else. Such feelings of unhappiness are state of mind.
Hearing her husband’s constant complaints, the old woman become resentful. She harbored resentment toward him. They were very direct with each other. The seed of love that they felt was buried deeply. The conditions were not right for it to emerge. If these conditions for growth were never present, negative causes would accumulate.
The husband planted the seeds of unpleasantness because he was always comparing. The wife felt resentful and her grudge was becoming a negative cause. They would have carried this conflict wife them to their next lives. The present effects would create new causes. Thus the cycle of cause and effect repeats itself endlessly. In short, we should try stop this vicious cycle. Karmic retributions are truly frightening. We should eliminate them at the source by eliminating delusion, karma and retribution.
Let us cherish the opportunity to be in this place of spiritual practice among Bodhisattvas. We should constantly be grateful toward each other. So everyone, please always be mindful.
(Source: Da Ai TV 靜思晨語 法譬如水)
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